obsession;

Hi. I am not going to write the introduction so flowery so I am just going to go straight to the title.

Alright, so, obsession. There are many kinds of obsession that we can find in our life. Obsession toward the fictional characters (gotta admit that this is me), obsession toward perfection, obsession toward makeups and beauty, obsession toward a life that is only exist in the television shows, et cetera. There are so many unwritten obsessions up there which I know that each one of you have it and you know yourself better than everyone.

But right now, at this moment, I am going to write about this one obsession which we all know that we have this, at the bottom of our heart and mind, deep down inside, one obsession that we cannot resist to have. For me, it is not unintentionally, it is a choice that we made to have this obsession because of the reality around us, the people around us.

In which I also admit that I have this, well, so-called-obsession. 

It is the obsession toward perfection. 

Obsession toward perfection is basically the big fat point of the small things that people usually take it seriously nowadays; makeups to cover the flaws because it makes us feel insecure, so obsess on whitening products because people around us often to "tegur" or saying something about our skin color that makes us feel like we are not good enough to blend in the circles et cetera. I am not very sure if skin care products can be included in this big fat point of obsession so I am just going to let it slide and focus on the 2 points that I have mentioned. 

So, the first point; makeups to cover the flaws because it makes us feel insecure. I am very, confidently, sure that people are going to argue on this point. Why? Well, because mostly people that I see on Twitter said that they do makeups not because they wanted to impress the guys, or boys, or fuckboys we called it or whichever it is, but because they wanted to feel satisfied with themselves, because they wanted to appreciate themselves more, because they wanted to be pretty for themselves et cetera whatever they have said to prove the point that they do makeups not to impress the boys. 

First of all girls, are you really? Do you really? 

To be honest, there were certain times where I wish I could do makeups too on myself because seeing people with their makeups on made me feel really insecure with myself but ended up I didn't because I suck at makeups and because most of the days, I feel like I can go through the days with a skin like this, with my own skin without anything to cover on the flaws. Oh, I am not confident with my face and skin at all, really. I also had the times where my skin just.. breakout and it made me feel depress. But then, it is okay, I guess. I still could go through the days with this. 

I also know that there were (are) times where some girls just do not want to go out from the house just because of the condition of their skin. And by makeups, it boost their confidence. 

So, can you see the big main point of this entry? Of this topic? 

Girls usually love the other version of themselves - the version where they are more beautiful with their makeups on. 

This is the nowadays-truth. Now, tell me, have you ever seen the girls on Instagram or Twitter without their makeups on? Have you ever seen the girls on Instagram or Twitter posted their bare or naked-faces photos? There are (were), but the numbers can be counted. I am not saying that they should have the confidence in their flaws-self because I know that most of us are so insecure with ourselves, including me. 

But, have you ever try to love the flaws-you? Have you ever try to, at least, put confidence in the flaws-you? You can tell me that it is easy to talk rather than do it, I know that very well. But, the keyword here is, try.

For me, it is not about makeups. I tried putting some makeups on (well, I did not do it myself because I have mentioned above, I suck at makeups. My friend/s did it on me) but nah, it was suffocating and I did not like the makeup-me. You can say that it was because I never put a damn makeup on and because I am not a freaking makeup-addict and I might be one when I finally learn about makeups, but really, even wearing a lipstick, it suffocated me. I am more to skincare products person. You should have seen the-me before; where I did not give a single damn on any skincare products. And also, you should have seen the-me before the skincare products and I were introduced to each other - God knew how much I suffered and depressed about my skin. My skin was so much worse than the current one. 

At that time, I envied and pretty much cursed everyone whose the skin was well, flawless as if they were breathing through their skin instead of their nose. 

But then, I got better. Not my skin because trust me, it took me years to get my skin to be like the current one (like right at this moment when I am writing out this entry). But myself. I got myself to feel better about my skin. The confidence was pretty much at scale 0.5, but it was there. It was freaking there and I congratulated myself for, at least, had the confidence about my skin no matter how bad the condition was or whatever the people said about my skin (like there was this one time my sister said that my skin's condition was so bad and she was freaking disgusted just by looking at my skin. And yeah, I kinda cried a little about that.) 

But right now, at this moment where I am writing or typing out this entry, I am so grateful how better my skin gets each days passes. Though, also there were the days where my skin made me feel like ripping it from my face, but... yeah. 

The conclusion here, why don't you at least, try to love the side of you that you kind of do not have any confidence with? It is gonna be difficult yes, and because it is so easy to talk than do it yes, I know that very well. But then, you should try to embrace the flaws-you. You should believe in yourself that you can rock the makeups-on you and also the flaws-you.

Because one day if you have embrace the flaws-you, and you can rock the both sides of you, you will be the one that influence people about this actually positive and healthy obsession. Not toward the perfection, but the obsession to love the both sides of yourself.

Till next time!